


Town Full of Monsters

by The_Wishing_Well



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Monster Falls (Gravity Falls), Cervitaur Dipper Pines, Crack, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, Family, Fluff, Gargoyle Stan Pines, Gen, Mermaid Mabel Pines, Monsters, One Shot, One Shot Collection, Slow To Update, Sphinx Ford Pines, mostly just a collection of one-shots existing in the same universe, probably
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:48:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23474209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Wishing_Well/pseuds/The_Wishing_Well
Summary: Just a bunch of monster falls stories that exist in the same timeline, maybe some will build off each other, I don't know, but there's no actual plot here. Don't expect frequent updates.
Relationships: Dipper Pines & Ford Pines & Mabel Pines & Stan Pines, Dipper Pines & Mabel Pines, Dipper Pines & Stan Pines, Ford Pines & Stan Pines, Jesus "Soos" Alzamirano Ramirez & Dipper Pines & Mabel Pines, Jesus "Soos" Alzamirano Ramirez/Melody, Mabel Pines & Stan Pines
Comments: 6
Kudos: 62





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place during the show, not the summer afterwards, just for clarification.

The sun rose above the sleepy little town that was Gravity Falls. It was the picture of serenity, clear blue waterfalls and thick pine forests. You wouldn’t expect anything unusual to happen here. Nothing at all. Just a nice getaway from the busy cities for a little fishing or maybe a hike. But at the moment, a highly trained government agent was making his way towards a little tourist attraction at the edge of the woods. 

Agent Pistol broke into cold sweat, both hands clamped around his gun. He was on the ground, covered by dense bushes. If anyone were to pass by they wouldn’t be able to spot him. He peered through the leaves at the Mystery Shack. The S had fallen off the sign and was now simply lying on the roof, the owner of the Shack not caring enough to fix it. 

Pistol inched forwards, silently panicking as he did. He was supposed to be with others to storm the Shack. However, the other agents had either been chased away or who knows what by the wolves in the night. He had separated from the rest of his team, and his walkie talkie had been smashed while running. He had no idea where he was and only found the Mystery Shack by chance. And despite having no backup, he still had a mission to complete. 

At this point he was only 6 feet from the front porch. He gripped the gun tightly, trying to summon the courage to go right up to the house. 

Just then, the door slammed open. Pistol’s blood went cold, eyes widening as he stared up at the stony, grey skinned beast in the doorway. The beast was hideous, its eyes were simply yellow orbs with no pupils; fangs jutted out of its mouth, causing a thin line of drool to dribble out; short stubby horns poked out from under the fez the creature wore, and the paws sported sharp claws. The gargoyle also was wearing in addition to the fez, a stained tank top, a pair of striped boxers, and a pair of glasses. 

The gargoyle took a deep breath, and its eyes narrowed, and Pistol froze. The creature had no pupils, but Pistol was sure it was staring at him. Its lip curled, and the monster opened its mouth to let out a deafening roar. Large, grey wings unfolded from the beast’s back and stretched out behind it, making the beast appear much larger than it really was.

Pistol finally cracked. He screamed, turned, and ran as fast as he could in the other direction. He’d rather take his chances with the wolves. At least they had bodies that could be pierced by bullets.

Meanwhile, back on the porch of the Mystery Shack, Stan Pines finished his excessively long and ear-splitting yawn. That was a downside of the transformation. He couldn’t yawn without shaking the house.

Stan stretched his stony limbs, his bat-like wings shaking off the dust he gathered in the night. 

“Augh!” he winced as his back cramped. “Urg. Not good, ow.”

As he rubbed his back, a pigeon landed on his horn. He froze, staring at the bird. 

“Don’t do it,” he growled (no, literally growled). 

The pigeon turned its head to meet his gaze. 

“Don’t you do it,” he repeated.

The pigeon stepped backwards on Stan’s horn, positioning itself right above Stan’s head.

“I swear if you-!”

The bird pooed. 

“AUGH!! AUGH I SAW IT COMING!!” The pigeon flew away as Stan was screaming. The old man cussed and turned back towards the house, bird poo sliding down half his face. Sometimes he just really hated being a statue.

“KIDS! COME HELP YOUR GRUNKLE STAN CLEAN HIS FACE!!” He stepped inside and closed the door. 

Cue the theme music.

...  
  



	2. *menacing voice* Gideon...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Gideon shows up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so I couldn’t find anywhere to say it, but Ford is a sphinx. This happens a little while after he comes into contact with the water, and I’ll post a chapter on how that happens later.  
> This is also pretty dialogue heavy.

“I have to say, everyone’s taking the change better than I would have thought,” Ford said, staring openly at the various monsters, golems, and half-human beasts that now roamed the streets of Gravity Falls.

“Yeah, I think some even like it better this way,” Dipper agreed. 

“I know I do,” Mabel grinned. She scooted forwards in her fish tank wheelchair, trying to keep up with the others. Soos had offered to push her, but she wanted to try and move by herself.

Since the flood had turned Dipper into a cervitaur, with an additional pair of legs, Dipper was faster than the others despite still sometimes tripping over his own hooves. This pleased him greatly, and he was constantly holding this over Mabel’s head since she couldn’t even walk now. As for Mabel, she adored her transformation and how pretty her fins were. However, getting places was a challenge. 

Gravity Falls had certainly embraced their new monstrous forms. And today, Gravity Falls was having another street market, where this time, they were selling monster related merchandise as well as the usual wares. Gorgon sunglasses, fin care, Sunscheme Sunscreen ™ (It’s not expensive at all!), Horn Shine, etc.

“Whatever. Just get whatever you want and let’s go,” Grunkle Stan grunted.

“Wet blankets! Wet blankets over here!!” Toby Determined yelled over at his stall. He was the only person in the entire town that didn’t turn into some sort of monster, which was probably for the best. He was horrifying enough without being a monster. Toby was extremely disappointed about this, and had taken to wearing a headband with devil horns to try and blend in. As if that was needed.

“Say you, would you like to buy a wet blanket?” Toby blinked up at Ford. 

“AUGHH!! A GREMLOBLIN!!!” Ford screamed and drew one of his space guns. 

“Woah, relax Dr. Pines. That’s just his face,” Soos explained, getting between the two.

“Oh, I see, I’m sorry,” Ford said sympathetically. 

“Aww marbles…” Toby said sadly.

“Well, I should get some Sunscheme Sunscreen ™ . The last time I was out in the sun for a while I almost dried out,” Mabel said. “SOOS! LAUNCH ME TOWARDS THAT BOOTH!” 

“You got it hambone,” Soos said. He shot both arms towards the tank, stretching his clay arms as they went, effectively propelling the wheelchair at high speeds at the poor person’s booth.

“Ohhh boy. Let’s go before they break something. And I have to pay for it…” Stan said that last part under his breath. 

Thankfully, Mabel had stopped just one inch away from the booth and was now haggling with the lizard lady for a few bottles of  Sunscheme Sunscreen ™ and a water-resistant blanket. Stan had taught her well.

Dipper wandered over to the stand next to them and picked up a jar of Antler Polish, sadly rubbing the spot between his ears where antlers should be. 

_I hope they come in soon…_ , Dipper thought. Suddenly the jar was slapped out of his hand by a tiny, pale hand.  
“Gideon.” Dipper narrowed his eyes at the umbrella carrying brat. 

“Well well well, if it ain’t the Pines family,” Gideon grinned evilly, showing off two tiny fangs. 

“Gideon…” the rest of the family (excluding Ford) said with as much venom as they could. 

“What are you doing here?” Stan growled, which sounded like two stones being grinded together. Ford looked curiously at the 10 year old vampire, confused.

“Yeah I thought you were like, in prison,” Soos said. 

“Got off for good behavior,” Gideon said offhandedly, examining his new claws. “Mabel! My sweet!”

Mabel groaned and sunk into her tank, using her tail fin to block her face from view. 

Dipper stepped in front of his sister protectively, chest puffed out, trying to look threatening. Unfortunately it had the opposite effect, and he just looked adorable.

“Look man, you leave my sister alone or I’ll get the cops to send you back to the slammer, got it?” he said. 

“Yeah!” Stan yelled, shaking his fist.

Gideon narrowed his eyes, knowing he was outmatched. Ever since he was revealed to be a fraud, the townspeople weren’t as keen to take his side anymore. He snatched a bottle of Sunscheme Sunscreen ™ , throwing some bills over the counter, and stalking off. 

“Good riddance,” Stan snapped, paying for Mabel’s stuff. 

“Um, who was that?” Ford asked. 

“Gideon,” Mabel mumbled in her tank. “He’s been terrorizing us all summer. He stole the deed to the Mystery Shack and took your journal!” she exclaimed.

“Did he?” Ford frowned in Gideon’s direction. 

“Look, let’s not worry about Gideon today. It’s a nice day, let’s not spoil it, you know?” Soos said. 

“Yeah, let’s check out what everyone else is selling,” Stan said, still in a bit of a bad mood. He looked at the price tag of the closest thing to him, which were some of Manotaur Dan’s wood carvings. All of them had beards and horns carved on them. “Yeesh! Fifteen bucks for one carving! What a rip-off.” 

“You want to say that TO MY FACE???” Manotaur Dan yelled at him. 

“Woah there buddy. I was just- WHAT’S THAT OVER THERE!!!” Stan screamed, pointing behind him. 

“What? Where!!” Manotaur Dan fell for it and turned his head, giving Stan the chance to sweep the lot of carvings into a bag and run for it. Ford facepalmed. 

“Hey! Stop right there!!” the policemen ran past.

“TRY AND CATCH ME SUCKERS!!!”  **CRASH** “DARN TREES!!!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stan ended up trying to fly away and crashed into a few trees. Soos had to run back to the Shack to get the bail money.


	3. Ford arrives home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zoinks.

“-my brother.”

The mysterious man that had come out of the portal removed his head coverings and stared at them all. Then his jaw dropped. Then he attacked. 

“OOF!” Stan grunted as the wind was knocked out of him, metaphorically of course, by a good kick to the stomach, delivered by his own twin brother, who he assumed was wearing some new fancy super-tough boots from whatever sci-fi dimension he just came out of because no ordinary human could kick a gargoyle all the way across the basement. 

“STAN!” the twins (and Soos) cried out as Stan Pines hit the floor, and the aggressor advanced on him with a fancy sci-fi gun, aimed at the stone monster’s chest and ready to fire. 

“Who are you,” he said softly, yet aggressively. “WHO SENT YOU?!” 

“Wha- Sixer it’s me! Stan!” Stan shouted, motioning towards himself. “I’m your twin!” 

“You’re not even trying to disguise yourself, creature. Who are you and HOW DID YOU MANAGE TO TURN THE PORTAL ON?!” the other man shouted, not lowering his gun for an instant. 

“I KNOW I LOOK LIKE THIS, OKAY, FORD?! Stan threw his arms up. “IT’S JUST SOME STUFF HAS HAPPENED SINCE YOU WERE GONE!” 

“LIES!” Ford pushed the trigger and a light shone from the barrel of the gun. 

“WAIT!” Ford paused for a second, surprised at the appearance of a young cervitaur and a mermaid in a portable glass tank, but recovered quickly. 

“Are these your accomplices?” he hissed. “Bill is signing up younger monsters now? Nevermind.” 

“DON’T TOUCH MY DUDES!” Ford was grabbed from behind, and thrown up into the air, nearly dropping his gun in surprise. He looked down and saw that a molten, clay man had grabbed him and stretched his arms up to push Ford farther away from the others towards the ceiling of the basement.

“Poindexter it’s really me!!” Stan called up to him. 

“Prove it,” Ford deadpanned, still pointing the gun at the stone being. One shot and the granite would crack and fall apart. 

Stan thought for a moment, scratching his stone forehead with his claws. “When we were kids we found the Jersey Devil, but you cut it free so I wouldn’t get in trouble. We got grounded anyway for the entire summer.” 

Ford finally lowered his gun.

“Stan?” he called out. “Is it really you?” 

“YES YOU KNUCKLE HEAD OF COURSE IT’S ME!!” Stan shouted, throwing his hands in the air. 

“Bu- How?!” Ford stuttered as Soos lowered him back down to the ground. 

“Magic river,” Dipper chimed in. 

“You’re a  _ gargoyle!” _ Ford exclaimed, motioning towards Stan’s… everything. 

“I’m well aware of that, thank you,” Stan grumbled, which always sounded like two stones grinding together. 

“Are they humans too?! What did you do!!!” Ford pointed at the others, looking half angry, mostly confused. 

“Hey, it’s not my fault the water I sold as rejuvenating health water was actually from a magic stream that turned people into monsters,” Stan said grumpily, crossing his arms. 

“You did WHAT!” Ford yelled. This was the last thing Ford had expected waiting for him on the other side of the portal. 

“To be fair, it’s in our water system now, so it wouldn’t really make a difference,” Dipper shrugged. 

“It tastes like sugar mixed with water!” Mabel added cheerfully. 

“I think that’s because you put sugar in your water, Mabel.” 

“Okay okay, enough.” Ford cut through the twin’s little spat. “So who are you people?” he asked the twins (and Soos). 

“They’re your family, Poindexter. Shermie’s grandkids,” Stan said. Ford’s demeanor instantly softened. “I have a niece? A nephew?” Ford smiled slightly. 

The strange man that looked like their uncle kneeled down to their eye level. “Greetings! Do kids still say greetings? I haven’t been in this dimension for a really long time.” Mabel took quickly to the new family member, and shook his six-fingered hand vigorously, which, after a month of living in a town full of monsters, was the least weird thing she’d seen. “Wow! A six-fingered hand shake! That’s a whole finger friendlier than normal!” 

Ford chucked and pointed at her. “I like this kid! She’s weird. Nice tail, by the way, it’s very sparkly. Perfect for attracting smaller fish prey.” 

“Thank you! I glitterified it myself!” she grinned, showing off her little fangs that messed up her braces when they grew in. 

“Fascinating,” Ford said. He then turned to the cervitaur boy, who was staring at him in awe. 

“And you are a cervitaur?” Ford asked excitedly, turning from a hardened, battle ready dimension traveler to nerd scientist and anomaly researcher. He studied the boy closely. 

Dipper didn’t answer, and instead stammered out, “I- I can't believe it. You're the author of the journals!” 

Ford pulled out Journal 1 from his coat and held it up. “You've read my journals?

“I haven't just read them, I've lived them!” the young buck said excitedly, and starting pacing around in circles. “I've been waiting for so long to meet you, I don't know what to say, I have so many questions I-” he started to hyperventilate, collapsing on the floor, his four legs splayed out under him, “I think I'm gonna throw up.” After a few seconds he shook his head. “No-no, false alarm… Just gotta ride it out!”

“Uh-huh, interesting. Tell me, has your diet changed since you turned into a half deer?” Ford asked, ignoring what just happened. 

“They’re your family, Sixer. Not a science experiment,” Stan growled. 

“Of course not, I’m merely observing any changes, not experimenting on them. And what are you, some sort of molten hairless gopher?” Ford motioned to Soos, who chuckled. 

“I get that a lot.” 

“Ford,” Stan said. 

“Fine,” Ford stood up, his mood souring, and turned to Stan. “But tell me, Stan, are there any security breaches? Does  _ anyone else _ know about this portal?

“No, just us,” he scoffed, and paused. “Also maybe the entire U.S. government.” 

“The WHAT?!” Ford yelled. 

… 

After that situation was dealt with,  ~~ predictably in the same way it was dealt with in several other alternate timelines ~~ , Ford turned to the rest of his family, journal open in one hand and a pen in the other, looking excited. 

“Now where did you say that river was?” 

  
  



	4. The Stanchurian Candidate (but with one major change)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This has been sitting in my head for a while...

All the citizens in Gravity Falls had gathered in the town hall to mourn the late Mayor Befufftlefumpter. The stuffing on that old rag doll had spilled out and he could no longer remain in this life, bless him. They buried him with half his stitching undone and stuffing spilling out, and one button eye hanging from a thread, though Lazy Susan tried her best to sew him back up, it was heard to sew with just one eye. 

The other reason they had gathered in the town hall was for the reason that they needed to choose a new mayor.

Stan, Soos, and the twins sat on the floor of the building, as did everyone else. With the extra limbs, body changes, size changes, and other new features that now grew from the townsfolk, they had too much trouble getting people seated on benches made for humans, and as a solution simply moved the benches out. 

Dipper tucked his four legs under his little deer body and sat down. Stan accidentally smacked the poor banshee woman behind him with his large stone wings, causing her to let out a piercing scream in anger. 

“Sorry! Yeesh, talk about overreaction,” he grumbled. 

At the front of the Town Hall, Deputy Durland and Sheriff Blubs pulled out a dusty old scroll and unfurled it. 

“Alright. Order! Order everyone! Calm down now!” Blubs yelled. “We're here to choose a mayor for the first time in almost a century. According to the town charter, a worthy candidate is defined as anyone who can cast a shadow, count to ten, and throw their hat into the provided ring.” 

The sheriff motioned to a large hoop that Deputy Durland brought out, and placed on the ground. Instantly, a wide-brimmed straw hat landed in the middle of the ring. 

“Well now I do believe I fulfill all the requirements,” Bud Gleeful said, standing up smugly, and flashing his brand new vampire fangs. “Oh and can I get my hat back? It’s the only thing keepin’ my head from crumblin’ to dust, see.” 

“Wait, Bud Gleeful?” Dipper raised an eyebrow. 

“He looks good! Considering we threw his son in jail,” Mabel observed. 

“That was a good day!” Stan nodded blissfully. 

“Now folks, I know our families had its fair shares of whoopsie daisies in the past, but I'd like to make up for it by formally announcing my candidacy for the mayor of Gravity Falls!” Bud exclaimed happily, natural charisma oozing out of him. “Any questions?” 

“Yes, are you still in contact with Lil' Gideon?” Toby Determined questioned him, who was still wearing that stupid fake horned headband.

“That's a great question, I'm giving you 50% off a used car,” he quickly dodged the question, and threw an armful of large colorful coupons for Bud’s car discount automart. The sudden mention of 50% off worked and many ignored the fact that Bud avoided the question in favor of frantically grabbing and fighting for the coupons. 

“Wow, a colorful piece of paper? He's got my vote!” Mabel said cheerfully, snatching up a coupon that quickly got wet under her webbed fingers. 

“Guys, I've got a really bad feeling about Bud Gleeful as mayor,” Dipper frowned, sounding concerned. 

“I dunno, dude, it's not like we have a lot of good mayor options,” Soos shrugged, flicks of mud splattering everywhere. “Even before we all transformed, everyone in this town is a tad strange. Except, ironically, Tad Strange.” The clay golem motioned to the least normal looking man in the Town Hall. 

“Hi guys, Tad's the name, and being normal's my game,” said the terrifying looking demon, a literal one, with a forked tail and everything, in the most normal, monotone voice you can imagine. 

“Yeah I don’t think Tad Strange counts as being ‘normal’, anymore,” Dipper said dryly. “But it's a shame Ford isn't here, he'd run. And win! And be a great mayor!” he continued, making Stan narrow his eyes in jealousy. 

“Fine then.” The twins (and Soos) looked at Stan in confusion. 

“What?” they asked. 

“I’ll run. I’m just as good as Ford, and you kids want to stop Bud from becoming mayor? This is the best way to do it,” Stan said, his pupil-less eyes glowing. He was about to stand up and throw his fez into the ring. 

“...so since everyone's happy I'll just take the oath of office now, sound good, gavel up?” Bud said cheerfully holding the gavel. 

“Yeah… about that Mr. Gleeful,” Sheriff Blubs cut through his little moment of victory, and Durland took the gavel from his hand. “It says here on the town charter: _‘a worthy candidate is defined as anyone who can cast a shadow, count to ten, and throw their hat into a provided ring.’_ See, we said it about a minute and twenty seconds ago. You, sir, are a vampire. Which means you can’t cast a shadow.” The officer pointed at the ground at Bub’s feet. Everyone looked, and indeed, there was no shadow. 

“B-b-but,” Bud stammered out. 

“Sorry,” Sheriff Blubs shrugged, and Deputy Durland threw his hat back out of the ring at the vampire. “Laws are laws.” 

“And for once I actually agree with the law,” Stan whispered giddily into the twin’s ears. 

“Surely there must be… an exception to this law? Surely? Especially considerin’ our current conditions?” Bud tried to find a loophole, but the officers shook their heads. 

“The only way you can add an amendment to the Gravity Falls town charter is if you fistfight the founder of the town himself, and given that he is not with us anymore, we can’t do that.” 

Bud’s face contorted into an expression that could only be described as half anger, half disbelief. 

Stan’s laughs echoed around the building, causing everyone to stare and Bud to cast a stink eye at him. “That’s funny,” the gargoyle grinned. A second of silence passed. “I’m still running for mayor though,” he told the kids, and chucked his hat into the ring without a second thought. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mayor Befufftlefumpter was a giant doll come to life, except instead of looking scary it’s just sad because there’s stuffing poking out of everywhere and it looks more like a raggedy bean bag instead of a doll.
> 
> Lazy Susan is a cyclops. 
> 
> Tad Strange is a literal demon, not a square one, a literal devil horned, pitchfork wielding demon. I guess that’s actually called a devil, but same thing. 
> 
> I have no idea what Blubs and Durland are. 

**Author's Note:**

> In case my English teacher is reading this, no I didn't steal my spring break writing from here this is my spring break writing. You're probably not but, just in case.


End file.
